Spencer closed his eyes and the sensation of spinning was replaced with one of acceleration. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as if he were on a steep drop on a roller coaster. His heart, lungs, and stomach felt flattened against his shoulder blades and spine.
He felt a sensation as if his mind were being pulled out of his body through a straw, and his pure consciousness, disconnected from his corporeal form, was hurtling through an infinite tunnel of time and space. For what felt like an eternity, he continued to rocket through complete darkness until he began to see a flickering pinprick of light in the endless field of black. As he continued to move toward it, he realized that this infinitesimal point of light, surrounded by endless fields of all-consuming darkness, was his life.
Behind him, he could feel billions of other flickering beacons in the icy void being snuffed out, millions at a time, replaced by impenetrable darkness—all the lives that preceded him in the history of mankind, back to the first biped that emerged from the primordial oceans. All of them had lived their lives, and then were annihilated and forever forgotten.
Grandmother, he thought as he watched a point of light fade into nothingness; and he remembered holding her emaciated hand during her last moments.
Great, great grandfather, he thought as another prick of luminescence was swallowed by the dark abyss. And even his name was lost to the void; all Spencer knew of him was that he had come to a strange new land for the promise of a better life.
As he continued to speed forward, he saw another string of flickering lights extending before him—all of the lives that would exist in the future. One by one, all of these lights were extinguished as well.
He tried to weep for the brief life he had left to live. For all of the lives that had ever existed. For all those that ever would exist. All of them fated to be consumed by the darkness. But he had no body, no eyes, no tear ducts with which to cry.
And he was left alone.
In the darkness. For all eternity.
He was nothing.
#
The darkness persisted for a time. And then his vision returned and he saw a small dot of light and vegetation amidst a sea of blank green. The feeling of acceleration returned and he realized he was falling. He tried to grab at the air, but he had no arms, no body.
He continued to hurtle down toward a canopy of leaves—orange and gold in the cold autumn night. As he continued to descend, he discerned a patch of concrete that he came to recognize as a basketball court. Then, floating now, he saw a boy—fair-haired and dressed in a t-shirt, jeans, and work boots, body covered with some sort of mechanic’s jacket—slumped under a tree, limbs splayed out in the dirt. He floated down, closer and closer to the boy. And then…
Spencer opened his eyes. He was lying face down in the dirt and covered under his sweatshirt and Sal’s filthy Carhart jacket. Even under these layers, his teeth chattered in the nighttime chill. He could hear the rustling of dry autumn leaves above him. He listened in vain for their hidden language. But now all that was left was the eternal void he had just experienced.
He sat up and looked up at the night sky. Then he heard Sal. “You’ve been out for a while.” There was a hint of concern in his voice. “You were shaking. You seemed cold. So I covered you up.”
Spencer sat up gingerly and brushed dirt and wood chips from his hair and the side of his face. “How long have I been like this?Sal approached him and lit a cigarette. “I’ll say it like this. You were out so long that it’s after midnight. It’s Sunday now. Time to go to church.”
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